Saturday, December 31, 2005

on the 365th day


Oh dear, is it 2006 already? Damn! Where did year go?


Hmmm... did I do everything I'd wanted to do this year? I can't seem to remember if I've set out any goals, too busy trying to stay... well, busy. What did I do this year that stood out? What happened? Why can't I recall the details? Everything's such a blur...


Changed jobs, yes... big holiday, yes... finally started biking... met up with some old friends... and oh yes, started blogging! Made a few new chums in blogsphere (yes, that means you). It's a true eye opener, reading other people's thoughts, opinions, reflections, little secrets that wouldn't be revealed to anyone else except total strangers.


I didn't go for a dive trip, I do miss that. The sights of colourful life underwater, the gentle swim of the giant turtles, playful anemone fish amongst the sacs of soft coral, skilful navigation of the reef sharks, the awe of watching schools of barracuda swimming against the currents. The sounds of bubbles, cracks, mechanical breathing underwater. The feeling of weightlessness, floating, a small insignificant creature in the vast ocean.


Some things are yet to be done though. I still need to write that article on Serendah for a friend's site, and oh I almost forgot about that piece on Kinabatangan... do I have to do it? Haven't even updated my other site with the latest information either, I'm such a procrastinator. Haven't finished books that I've read halfway, didn't catch movies I'd meant to watch. I guess all could be done in due time, no rush for those. They don't have deadlines.


Personally I've changed quite a bit this year. I can't rightly put my finger on it, but they're there, those changes. Less outdoors, more indoors. Less carefree. More reflections. More battles to fight inside. More tough decisions made. Less of the old me. I'm just... different.


Hey, what's all this "me, myself and I" talk going on here...? Have I really done anything good this year for other people? Did I make a difference in someone's life? Was I kind, helpful, caring, understanding enough? Oh no, too many Is again! Why am I so self-absorbed? Why do I take things for granted?


What about the world? The tsunami victims, the quake and hurricane survivors, the natural disasters, never-ending war? People who have lost their lives, who are fighting for their rights, who are trying to just get through the day? Could I have done something to help them? To make someone feel more comforted, needed, appreciated? Am I doing my part for society and Mother Nature? Could I have done more? Is it too late?


Hang on, I haven't quite finished what I want to do for the year...


No, no, no... wait, WAIT!

HaPpY NeW yEaR!

I hope I did make a difference.
Happy New Year, my dears. xox.

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