homesick but not quite

I had the strangest feeling last night while I was sitting on my bed, surfing the net, looking for something to occupy my idle mind.

I felt homesick.

And I was at home.

Funnily enough, I was homesick for a foreign country. Don't get me wrong, I love where I am right now, enjoying and appreciating what life has to offer here, hoping that I'll never ever forget my roots and where I came from.

I made a trip to Ikea after work, braving an-hour-and-a-half traffic jam, only to discover the boxes I'd looked forward to buying (they were going for half the original price of RM25) had sold out. Ambling around the huge warehouse stocked with home-ware, kitchenware, furniture and whatever it is that makes the crowds flock there every weekend, my mind begin to wander and daydream about how I'd furnish my own place some day. Where no one would dictate what sort of couch I should buy, or what colour curtains would match the furniture.

I made a quick stop at Cold Storage after that, to buy marshmallows for this weekend's attempt at baking marshmallow brownies (the recipe looks simple enough so chances of mucking this one up are pretty slim!). As you'd know, the supermarket stocks all sorts of imported food items which you'd rarely find at your local supermarket - varieties of biscuits, pasta, desserts and cakes... yes, even marshmallows. It almost felt like a different place altogether, although they're just everyday essentials and items you'd buy, just not that particular brand.

Maybe that's when I started having that homesick feeling. It wasn't for the house I live in currently... but more of homesick for a foreign land. You're probably thinking, "Geez, this girl really needs to get her head screwed on back right again! What's she doing missing some foreign land? What, this place not good enough for her any more? Is she turning into some snobbish bimbo who thinks anything foreign is better?"

No. I sincerely hope not.

For some reason, I miss the hustle and bustle of Sydney, and of London (although that city is way too crowded). I miss taking the train and bus conveniently everywhere instead of having to drive. I miss being bundled up in layers of clothing and feel warm all over whilst the chilly winds are blowing on my face. I miss eating ice-cream in winter and enjoying a really hot cup of coffee, blowing a little stream of steam out from my mouth. I miss walking on the beach in summer, watching the white seagulls hover effortlessly above the waters. I miss walking in large parks, stopping and sitting under a tree or park bench and enjoy a packed lunch. I miss the hues of autumn and the dreary showers which never seem to stop, yet not wet enough to dampen my spirits.

I just miss the whole shebang of it.

Looking back at my previous post on 9 reasons why I'm still here, I'm suddenly re-thinking why I shouldn't be packing my backs and leaving already. Sure, I have some commitments to fulfil and loose ends I need to tie up, but the yearning to start afresh has sparked a small flame in my heart yet again after being snuffed out for so long.

Just a little longer here.

Then it'll be time to leave.

But for now...

Home sweet home.